Focus on the children!

Divorce and separation can be as devastating an experience for children as for parents. Caught in the divorce process, children all too often become scapegoats for their parents’ resentment of each other, or tools in the manipulation of custody or property settlements.

Children do not always communicate with words. They express their confusion through behavior. With time most of the “bad choices” or behavior will disappear.

In the meantime, here are a few things to consider:

  • Tell children about the divorce together, if possible.
  • Answer children’s questions honestly, avoiding unnecessary details.
  • Reassure children they are not to blame for divorce.
  • Tell children they are loved and will be taken care of.
  • Include the other parent in school and other activities.
  • Be consistent and on time to pick up and return children.
  • Develop a workable parenting plan that gives children access to both parents.
  • Guard against canceling plans with children.
  • Give children permission to have a loving, satisfying relationship with other parent.
  • Avoid putting children in the middle and in the position of having to take sides.
  • Avoid pumping children for information about the other parent.
  • Avoid arguing and discussing child support issues in front of children.
  • Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent or using the child as a pawn to hurt the other parent.

As parents, you are in the best position to make decisions about your children because you know them so well. Give them and yourself time to readjust. Be consistent with discipline and flexible with schedules when necessary.

The Law Office of D’Lugo & DeFlora prides itself on being able to consistently handle complex legal matters for its clients by combining extensive experience with a devoted work ethic.

Call us for  consultation at 407.870.0551 or


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